In all the big ways, I’ve lived a charmed life. For the most part, I’ve enjoyed good health and a supportive family, and I’ve even been able to make a living doing something that I love in Magic: the Gathering. However, one lifelong curse of mine is that I have a hard time making deep connections with others.

Don’t get me wrong, I get along with people. I have fun with them. And I have many people that I love between my partner, my family and my friends. However, I’m highly introverted and I tend to be more the logical than the emotional type. So even when I try to really express my feelings, it doesn’t come easily. It probably doesn’t help that I’m a very unusual person who leads a very unusual life. Whatever the reason, those moments of meaningful connection, where two people really understand each other - for me those are few and far between.

New Territories

There came a point in my life that I was considering a job offer. I faced two very different paths, one of which would cause a major upheaval in my life. It would be a change of location, a change of lifestyle and of course, a huge change in my relationship to competitive MTG. I felt lost.

I had many conversations, asking opinions from people I respect and trust. Most of their answers boiled down to, “Tough call, I’m sure you’ll make a good decision!”

I used up dozens of notebook pages comparing things like income opportunities and benefits. I tried to translate the intangibles - enjoyment, flexibility, passion - into things that could be represented by dollars and cents. I desperately wanted a clear-cut answer that my logical mind would be able to process. Unable to make a choice, I did the most extreme thing I could think of: I went to talk to my father.

My dad is nothing if not practical (I suppose that’s a common quality in dads, or at least it’s common for their children to perceive that quality in them). My most memorable lessons growing up centered on responsibility, self-sufficiency and not leaving things up to chance.

Needless to say, I thought I was walking into a conversation about health insurance and 401-K’s. I explained the situation and outlined the pros and cons, careful not to leave out key details lest my immaturity and lack of financial savvy should show through.

“Sounds like a no-brainer,” he said to me.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I know how much playing Magic means to you. If there’s an option that lets you keep doing that, pick that one.”

That was the answer, and I knew it as soon as I heard it. In one breath, he’d solved the problem I’d been struggling with for a week. In that moment, he knew me even better than I knew myself. I couldn’t remember another time in my life where that had been true. About anyone.

He understood.

We didn’t need to talk much more after that, and I never gave those notebook pages another look. I declined that job offer and continued on the path of MTG competition.

Was it the right call? Depends on whom you ask. Those who know me would say it was.